Naughty Argentina

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Buenos Aires is a real melting pot of vibrant clubs and seductive nightspots with a cosmopolitan clientele which guarantees any visitor an unforgettable stay.

1. Drop by a ‘Telo’

Telos are pay-by-the-hour hotels where you can spend a naughty night with a lover or escort.

They’re properly-equipped rooms with all mod cons, including jacuzzis, room-side parking, safe sex menus and even pizza delivery.

Argentines have such a laid-back, practical approach to sex, it’s pretty much a case of ‘anything goes,’ mixed with a whole lot of convenience and efficiency.

Look for signs that say ‘Auberge Transitorio’ or ‘Playa Privado’ and do shop around before deciding which one best suits your needs.

- Popular telos include the Mansion Doree in Flores, which has huge walk-in showers and luxury bedding.

2. Give yourself a Tango-gasm

If there’s one thing Argentina is super-famous for, it’s the sexy Tango.

There are tons of Tango shows to check out while you’re here, all guaranteed to get you in the mood for sex.

One of the best is Tango Porteno, where your ticket includes dinner, entertainment and the wonderful ambiance of a restored Art Deco former MGM theater.

It’s a stunning building, which only adds to the naughty air of decadence here.

You could also try El Viejo Almacen, which has been presenting authentic Tango shows since 1969.

Here, you’ll find a more traditional Tango show, but all the greatest - and sexiest - Tango stars have performed here, so it’s top of the list for authenticity.

But if you like your Tangos to get you screaming with desire, then you simply must try the Sasha's Tangogasm Experience.

Tailored to a 3-day or 7-day itinerary, you’ll be taken under the wing of Sasha Cagen, who will introduce you to the Tango and immerse you in the 360-degree Buenos Aires Tango Experience.

Hook up with a ‘taxi dancer’ - your own personal tango teacher and companion, who will not only teach you to dance, but will also show you how to shed those inhibitions and be sensual and tactile and completely open and relaxed.

You’ll visit famous Tango bars, indulge in some sensational food and drink, make tons of new friends and even go on a Tango shoe shopping spree.

3. Feed Your Lust

Buenos Aires has some truly amazing restaurants where you can chow down on aphrodisiacs and cocktails and sample some of the best cuisine on the planet.

Aramburu is one of the most romantic restaurants in town - try the 18-course Chef’s Menu which contains plenty of small treats you can hand-feed to your lover, with wine pairings to enhance that air of decadence.

If you’re a sushi lover, check out the sophisticated environs of Paru, situated in the upmarket Belgrano district, offering high class Peruvian sushi, served against a backdrop of leather banquettes, sparkling glass and warm, rustic brick walls.

4. Get Dragged-up

Buenos Aires is very gay-friendly so you’ll be spoiled for choice when it comes to drag shows and LGBT entertainment.

One of the best times I had during my stay was the Sunday night drag show at Sitges Bs As in Palermo.

There’s a great atmosphere with some fabulous drinks deals, and the club itself has a really naughty feel to it.

Snuggle into one of the white leather booths for cocktails and canapes, before letting it all hang out on the main floor as you’re entertained by some of Argentina’s foremost drag divas and burlesque acts.

5. Erotic Entertainment

If you like your nights to be super-spicy, then Buenos Aires offers more intense pleasure packages for fetishists by way of Mazmorra; a community of BDSMers who organize parties and events on a regular basis.

Simply sign up online with the dates when you’re in town, and they’ll get in touch with you to let you know of events happening in the city during your stay.

Whatever you’re into - electro-sex, dom/sub play, bondage etc - they will have something for you, and it’s a great way to expand your international BDSM friend network.

6. Awaken your senses

For a 100% erotic experience in Buenos Aires, you need to use all of your senses, not just some of them.

Check out the Wide Night erotic events held throughout the year.

It’s a mix of theater, photography, food, drink and storytelling which brings to life common erotic fantasies and allows guests to move through the story, heightening their senses and acting like a 2-hour session of foreplay.

By the time this interactive erotic exhibition and performance is over, you’ll be feeling so frisky, you’ll struggle not to jump on the first person you see.

Best experienced with a lover!

7. Get swinging

In a place as open-minded and cosmopolitan as Buenos Aires, the swinging scene is loud, proud and easy to find.

There are numerous swingers’ clubs in the city, the best of which are Moon Swinger, which welcomes singles, couples and threesomes to its nightclub-style Saturday night parties. 

8. Sex it up with a stranger in a speakeasy

You’ll find dozens of old-style cellar and back room bars hidden away in the back of innocent-looking shops and storerooms.

There’s something really naughty about diving through a hidden door and emerging into a bustling, intimate, smoky bar full of strangers, all of whom have mysterious stories to tell.

I had a great evening in one such place, the Floreria Atlantico; a tiny bar secreted away in the back of a florist’s shop.

It’s a real melting pot of personalities in here, so you can just sit up at the bar with a cheeky Limoncello and wait for someone to come and introduce themselves.

Who knows where the evening might lead!