This is something I get asked all the time and have been asked to write a blog on this. For me, it’s not even anything I think about as it’s just who I am, being confident and loving myself. Back in my time, it was called being selfish to love and put yourself first. And I always said “If that’s what selfish is, then I’m selfish!”
There was no telling people like you do today “I’m just loving myself!” “I’m all about me right now.” People didn’t understand that back then. That was a luxury they didn’t have, or you were just full of yourself, selfish, and didn’t care about others feelings.
Self-love is something new in media. It’s not that it wasn’t around and others didn’t love themselves. Just different times, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that as it wasn’t really a thing back then.
When I think back to how I got all this confidence, especially at such a young age...I owe it to my parents. They are both very confident in their own ways and extremely independent, like me.
I think it’s best if we start with my dad, as it will help to explain my mother's confidence, as both are unique.
My dad was very good looking growing up and he knew it. No problems with the ladies, so that can definitely help with building your confidence.
Not only was he good looking but popular. When people are around him, he has this energy about him, others want to be like him. Some women will do anything to be around my dad or be with him sexually as I saw growing up.
But he’s a very laidback guy, who’s everyone’s friend, smart ass like me, very independent, goes after what he wants, very driven, he’s not showy but loves nice things that he’s worked hard to own.
She’s confident in a much different way than my dad.
Even though she’s very pretty and was beautiful as a teenager, which caught my dad’s eye of course. She’s not confident in that department. There are different kinds of confidence in people.
My dad is confident in almost all areas of his life. My mom is more confident in that she’s very intelligent, driven as hell, and independent as fuck (more than my dad).
She’s a woman who has always taught me, if a man can do it, why can’t I do it better. And she’s not a feminist or a woman who’s like “I’ll show the male world.” She just does it for herself. She’s not trying to start a movement or show off to anyone but herself that she can do it.
For example, after dental school she joined the military to pay off her loans, she’s VERY competitive when it comes to sports. She would come home after basic training and tell me how the men always were placing first. She would tell me, that she was going to be first and out run the men. And she did!!!
So it’s this kind of confidence that I saw from my mom. Showing me that women can do almost anything that we put our minds to. You may fail but at least you tried. She’s always in competition with herself. Meaning if she breaks a record for herself, she wants to improve it and won’t stop.
I saw a mother who put herself through dental school, joined the military and earned the respect she deserved, went from captain to major in the military, owned her own dental clinic, never asked for help, ran her own business, did her own taxes, raised two kids on her own and then my sister later in life.
I saw a mother who was my Wonder Woman and she could do anything.
These are the examples I grew up with. None of my parents are perfect in any way. They have flaws and made mistakes. But they lead by example, they never sat me down and told me how to live my life, they just were themselves, and as children we are like sponges. Which is why it’s SO important to be a good example to your kids.
My parents always let me make my own mistakes and grow up how I wanted. My parents were both very much into their own worlds and still are today. And guess what? So am I. They were very much into themselves but I never saw this as a negative as a kid. It helped me to be about me, saying no to what I didn’t like, speaking my mind but also being polite to others (something my parents taught me), and being my own person. I was very lucky to have such amazing role models growing up, even though they are not perfect.